Reality Check

Have you ever had such a rough day and logged onto Instagram just to be bombarded by an engagement, promotion, pregnancy, or vacation post from one of your friends? It's like you've been sucker punched all day long and then you get hit with that final jab that sends you spiraling downward. Maybe it's not just a tough day. Maybe you've been experiencing emotions you don't understand and that scroll through social media sets you even farther back as you see endless pictures of smiling faces and snapshots that seem to capture joy. Maybe you lost your job or your relationship is in the gutters or your mental health is at an all time low and all you can see are Facebook posts full of people who seem to have it all together on lavish vacations, out to dinner with their significant other, or living a life that seems free of hurt. It's amazing how a simple online check in can make people feel excluded, forgotten, or unimportant. Most importantly, it can make people feel alone.

I am right there with you in this feeling of isolation and, to put it simply, it can be torturous. I remember in my days of singleness feeling so alone as I saw everyone around me getting into relationships and posting sweet pictures with their significant others, while all I wanted was acknowledgement from a boy. I remember going through Instagram when my anxiety was at an all time high and my overall mental health was crumbling in my hands, and seeing so many posts of people with candid smiles enjoying life and feeling like I was never going to feel joy again. I remember when I was in the depths of my eating disorder, and I would see people post gourmet food shots and wonder how they could be enjoying something with such freedom that put me in a mental prison. In all of these circumstances I just kept thinking "what is wrong with me?" and "why can't I be like them?"

It's funny to think about all of this because I have learned the truth behind social media and the expression of people, and I see that there is nothing wrong with me, but a whole lot wrong with us all. In all of those circumstances of comparison, I forget to remember one thing: it wasn't reality. I had convinced myself that every carefully crafted and edited post I saw was genuine to how someone lived their life and to the situation they were in. It was easy for me to believe that someone who only posts smiling pictures was always happy, when in reality, they were longing for someone to rescue them from the inner pain that they were too afraid to express. I allowed myself to be so influenced by extravagant travel pictures and glamorous outfits, that I didn't stop and think about what happens outside of the one second it took to take those pictures. For every snippit of "life" someone posted, there was an infinite amount of life that went untold. No one ever talked about the hardship they were enduring, the fear the were experiencing, the stress they were under, or the loneliness they felt each and every day. I didn't stop and realize what someone was really going through because people were too afraid to talk about it themselves.

It can be terrifying to dive deep into our emotions and talk about what causes us pain. I don't know many people that enjoy walking into the face of what scares them. Dealing with reality is so much more difficult than escaping the truth, by adding filters and captions to a square full of poses and imitation. It's easy to ignore reality, but one day we will have to face the truth and deal with our own demons, and the longer we pile on phony versions of ourselves in an attempt to bury who we really are and what life really is life for us, the more it is going to hurt when we have to repair the damage done by hitting an emotional wall and dead end.

Emotions can be scary, but they shouldn't be. Life can be scary, but it shouldn't be. It's scary because we have convinced ourselves that what we face, no one else has faced before. Life is meant to be lived transparently and without fear. Take off the mask of perfection and let your scars be seen. Just because you don't have it all together, doesn't mean you aren't living life right, because the truth is, not a single one of us has ever had it together. The truth is, the ones who try to convince you that they do, are the ones with the real problems. Those who are too afraid to be seen as broken are the ones who are the most broken. It's time for a reality check. it's time to wake up from this psuedo reality we have allowed ourselves to live in. It's time we allow ourselves to live life as it is: messy, broken, mundane, but beautiful and so worthwile.